Munafik

Nak tukar bahasa sikit untuk kali ni.. (kucing dah bertanduk ka?)

Suatu maghrib, aku tgh baca Al-Quran dgn kakunya. Tiba-tiba, tak tau kenapa aku tergerak hati nak tulis ayat-ayat ni kat blog ni (yg mmg tak pernah ada yg baca)..

"..Sesungguhnya orang munafik itu hendak menipu Allah, tetapi Allah yang menipu mereka. Apabila mereka hendak berdiri untuk solat, mereka melakukan dengan malas. Mereka bermaksud untuk ria' (ingin dipuji) di hadapan manusia. Dan mereka tidak mengingat Allah kecuali sedikit sekali.." (Surah An-Nisa: 142)

"..Mereka dalam keadaan ragu antara yang demikian (iman atau kafir) tidak termasuk golongan ini (orang beriman) & tidak (pula) golongan itu (orang kafir). Barang siapa yang dibiarkan sesat oleh Allah, maka kamu tidak akan mendapatkan jalan (untuk memberi petunjuk) baginya.." (Surah An-Nisa: 143)

Aku rasa aku termasuk dalam golongan ni. Mau taknya, aku boleh pikir Islam tu dah ajar yang sesuai dgn naluri, & akui juga ajaran selain Islam itu menyimpang jauh..Tapi aku sendiri susah bukan main kalau nak kata slm kat sesama muslim (itu yg plg mudah).. Tambah lagi kuat ayat pertama aku ni bila aku ikut kawan aku ke satu pengajian ni.. kata guru tu,

"Kalau kamu nak lakukan suatu ibadah atau aktiviti, jgn fikir, 'aku takut org lain kata aku ria'..', sebenarnya pemikiran itu sendiri dah tunjuk bahawa kamu melakukannya untuk manusia bukan untuk Allah.."

Aku rasa Islam sebenarnya bukan ajar umat untuk jadi bebetul ekstrim (terserah la pada semua macam mana), tak mungkin juga kita boleh jadi malaikat yg tidak ada nafsu (mungkin jadi schizoid? - org ni tak suka dengan kegembiraan & lebih suka menyendiri. walaupun termasuk golongan masalah mental, tapi org ni tak membahayakan orang awam mcm org amuk).. Apa yg aku dapat, Islam ajar umatnya untuk bebas, tapi kawal nafsunya.

characteristic of being in love

what do i want to blabber today..?

hmm..

love.. it's beautiful, it's blind, & cannot be apart from human instict..

Wonderful for someone to find their soul partner for life (huh?!). But at times, they can be bored with their relationship (there's are some fact saying that longest couple relationship can last is 4 years). I was told the reason to the boredom is because human are imperfect.. (i didn't understand much about it but i heard it right)

also..." Allah swt never bored to give His but human always bored to ask Him.."

love..there's 8 characteristic show that one is in love (with Allah swt, Rasul saw, anyone, anything..)

1. will always say the name the one he/she/it loves..
2. will do anything to get by his/her/it side..
3. will do anything for her/his/it to show his/her love..
4. afraid of being left by him/her/it..
5. always hope he/she/it will always love him/her..
6. will do anything that his/her lover wants..
7. will love anything that his'/her's/it's lover loves..
8. fascinate by what the lover did to him/her..

the teacher said he got it from Ibnu Qayyum, "Orang yg merindu & mencintai.."

Sometimes i think that love is a wonderful thing.. but sometimes it saddens me.. that's why the Raihan's song say something like this, "why is it so bad?..when someone left u behind..when u fall in love with Allah swt.. Bonds of love survive.."

diabetes mellitus & cataract

Yesterday, i was told by a friend of mine that cataract can be cause by stacking of sorbitol in eye lens.. (i totally forgot about that when i learnt about cataract last time). yeah, in diabetes patient (usually), the glucose (which is highly concentrated in blood) will follow wherever blood go, even to eye. As eye has a small circulation there, so it can be converted by the enzyme there to become another glucose type called sorbitol. Sorbitol then interfere the lens cells, asking the cells to build up fiber.. these fiber cause ophtalmologist saw 'white thing' in lens (this is called 'opaque' in lens)

stroke & DM type 2.. stroke first then DM? or otherwise?

I got this case for presentation examination. Old guy, 3 hrs before admitted felt weak on right arm & leg, also cannot say a word right. (called it as aphasia?). 2 hs before, the weakness spread to his fingers & toes, making him even difficult to move whole hand & leg of right side. Also, his right face (if i wasn't mistaken) show grimace while his left side show nothing when ask to grim.. the lab result shows abnormal reading for glucose in blood, cholesterol & it fellow.. the physical examination show + pathologic reflex..uh.. I forgot most of the details.. Ah, he never follow the doctor's instruction to take medication..!

In my opinion, the guy's DM problem cause the stroke.. the long story, i don't exactly understand - that's cause my regret for the rest of my life ( i think.)..

my childhood - almost a real story :3

this morning i was dreamin about my past..

When i was 5 or 6, i still drinking syrup in bottle.. I even talked to myself rather than to others. ALso, isay 'matomato' instead of 'tomato'..

then at 7, i remember during my teacher filling up the detail for me, she asked me to choose 3 type of my dream occupation; i choose as teacher, nurse, & stewardess (i know nothing about these job at that time, just think that these jobs were cool enough for me..)

as i reach 9, i remember my first day wearing scarf. It is because my teacher commented about my hair. I know she meant nothing, but I was so sensitive that i decided to wear scarf the next day.., & the habit (wearing scarf) goes on till today..

When I was appointed to be one of the school prefects, i was 'overjoyed', thinking that i will rule the school with 'claw'.. yeah, i beat the boys with thick plastic ruler, blast out emotion whenever any student done small mistake.. yeah, really stupid work I did there at that time.. that is what i may assume as'having power..

but i really bad in sports; i can't even finish running in 100m.. silly enough, i tripped myself during starting of jogathon, slipped my wrist though. I cried like my hand was pulled out.. (what a cry baby). I even didn't understand the word 'shy' untill one time while i was queue up during sport training in my primary school. I was stand behind a senior. When the teacher ask to straightened the line, without thinking twice, i hold the boy's shoulder. He whacked my hand, saying, "don't you feel ashame holding boys easily like that?!" angrily.. I just stood still, kind a shock.. at that time, i felt somethin that i can't even describe it..

then, at 13 i become so alienated with girls school at first.. no friends that i knew, i also understood that i'm in one of the best secondary school in the state.. I also knew that some of my friends even pass away due to an accident.. (one sided monkey-love, i assume).. THis time, i decided that i want to be a cartoonist, 'realising' that i have a gift of drawing Sailormoon.. (i think the drawing even not qualified enough to enter any contest nor just publishing it).. Still, no effort i did about it. Only know that my mum not so agree to it because it's meaningless to my future..

after PMR, i think i 'choose' to go on at the same school, taking all Sciences subjects (chemistry, biology, physics, add math).. being so proud, thinking my dad is a doc, i may proceed smoothly all the years.. Actually NO. Even a school mate who her father works NOT as doc doing better than me.. worse still, i was too eager to ask whatever i don't understand..

(there's a saying "the worse of people is when he doesn't know what he doesn't know")

after SPM, i was choosen to join PLKN in Sintok-UUM for 3 months. I learnt something besides love-your-country spirit; be open. I was so closed to myself until a team mate of mine cried just because i was like that..

today, i still regret one thing.. i'm in a place of other who is more suitable should be.. but as long as i breath, i must go on with the rest.. -.-

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